**This was written in response to some "flack" I saw in regards to this post - http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3248085?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false
Most of what I saw in my newsfeed was mothers who really enjoy the above post. One response rubbed me the wrong way though.
The best things I can do for my children
There are so many great articles and blogs lately about doing your best at parenting, making sure you don't raise a spoiled brat, etc. Most make us normal mortal mothers feel better about ourselves, which truthfully in turn makes us better mothers. If we're spending our time worrying about being good & comparing ourselves to everyone else, we're not able to do our best. That's exactly it 'our best!' You see my best will be far different from your best, and that's ok. Both of our children will be lovingly cared for. Sure my dishes may be done* & yours aren't, but guess what, my laundry sure as heck isn't done. So what can I do for these precious children I'm doing MY best to raise?
I can teach them compassion and empathy. Some of the most important lessons are learning about others. Even now, as an adult, I learn so much from caring about others. Tonight I'm making dinner for my family and 2-3 other families too (new baby, child just had surgery & possibly a new neighbor)! On another occasion my children and I enjoyed buying a dozen roses, going to the mall & giving a single rose out to random people. I gave each child a certain number of roses and instructed them to give them to someone who looked like they could use a 'pick me up.' Most of the recipients were older ladies and a few children. Each person was delighted!! One lady even hugged the girls, cried a little & said she had always wished to have a little girl.
I can teach them NO! To take a little from a recent post I read, we live in a privileged world. My children have all they need and then some. As hard as I try, my children still can be spoiled brats. I try, and try, to teach them kindness, empathy, etc. Sometimes it sticks, but a lot of times I still am on the receiving end of an attitudinal 6 year old girl. My children need to hear no. They can't receive every wish & whim they want. That isn't going to help them in life. Of course I'm not going to say no all the time, left & right. Believe me, we have WAY too many toys (even after recently going through and getting rid of a playrooms worth of toys). We have WAY too many clothes too. My 2 year old not only has hand-me-downs from her two older siblings, but also from about 3 friends. You don't even want to know what her room looks like! I go through her clothes often, passing on what I can too. Telling them no & teaching them they don't always need everything they want, will enrich their lives far more than the 25th My Little Pony will.
You see for my children (and others) to learn empathy, they need to know there are others less fortunate than them. That there are people they can help. That there are things in this world they can do, to enrich their own lives & the lives of others. So I'll continue to teach them. I'll continue to come up with helpful life lessons. We as a family will continue to go through toys to donate, pick up trash in our neighborhood & make meals for those in need, just like others did for us, when our 'new' baby was born & when our daughter had open heart surgery. Those experiences & gestures are what they will remember when they grow up. They won't remember mom saying no, or one of their 25 My Little Pony's, they're going to remember the look on someone's face that they helped.
I must be doing something right, because my 12 year old son, jumps at the chance to help anyone he can in need. Just today at the store, when an elderly person knocked over a display of spices, he ran over and helped pick them up.
I'll keep doing my best to teach my children, the best I can.
*usually my dishes are a huge pile, but for today, I can say they are blissfully done. My sink is a sparkling!! Fly Lady would be proud!
-Kiersten
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